Chrysalis

(Originally posted May 11, 2011)

Last night marked the beginning of a significant transformation for me.  This is not the first time I've experienced this shift but it is far more important than the first time. This time it's life altering.

I've been here before but I was a different person at the time, I was ignorant to the ways of Spirit and the Universe I was like a new born baby growing into and learning all I could to make this important transformation and for a time I lived this transformed life.  A life I chose to live, I was divinely guided through some very difficult times without this guidance painful decisions would have been devastating.

This time around I'm not so naive.  I know the drill, the "Whole Nine Yards" as I was taught and I know what sits well for me and with me.  I know this yet I let events of the past four years shake my faith in all I know.  I let go of my beliefs and I let negative low energy thoughts and feelings invade my existence and I faltered.  It's not a fun place to be, it's painful physically and emotionally it's exhausting it's a place of darkness and sorrow, it's not where I wanted to be but found myself.

Last night was the beginning of the end of this wrong existence for me.  I have some work ahead but I know I am supported and loved and most of all guided and the relief I feel is overwhelming.  So much so that I don't think my heart and soul can stand it.  I know they will, it's just a new, old feeling, it's painful in a really good way.

I was most privileged to be included in a meditation circle with probably one of the most wonderful women walking this planet, her knowledge, compassion and insight are an inspiration to anyone who has had the pleasure of meeting her.  Her guidance is invaluable and I am happy to call her my friend and mentor.  She taught me so much about spirit and the universe and about my roll in all of this.  She's here in Vancouver for only a short while but her visit, for me, could not have come at a more crucial time.  Without realising it, I needed her and her guidance more than I could have imagined.

So about last night.  Our meditation was focused on healing.  Healing of ourselves.  She was guided to do this with us and now I understand why and how very profound it all is.  We were instructed to focus on areas we need healing in. First was our physical being, those little nagging aches and pains. Second was our mental well being, the negative thoughts and worries that plague us daily. Third was emotional, again more so than the mental it's our overall emotional well being. Fourth was our "divine will" I understood this as our beliefs and faith. And finally our ethereal connection to God, Spirit and the Universe.

The idea in this exercise was to start in the physical and work up through our aura to the outermost layer repairing damage with the help of those in the Spirit world this was their promise to us last night.  As I sat in the darkened room with eight other women all of us working on our own "issues" I was overwhelmed.  The feeling of every single emotion that I have dealt with over the past four years was being tugged and pulled from my body and replaced with peace and love.  So much so it was all I could do to keep from breaking down and sobbing out loud.

I sat in silence fighting back tears I had no control of.  Feeling the work being done on me and around me, feeling the cocoon forming, protecting me and having my ethereal aura re-connected to the highest power, God. Yes I have witnessed the Divine Creator and this isn't the first time either.  Each and every time it's the same it's overwhelming and unimaginable, to put into words the depth of emotion one feels in God's presence is to be experienced on explained.  I had forgotten, I had let all that was going on around me over shadow what I already knew.  We are not alone, we are cared for and loved UNCONDITIONALLY and we will always be accepted no matter what our circumstance on this earthly plain throws at us.

Whether you believe or not is your choice.  I'm only relaying what I experienced.  What I was told from the start of this exercise was that ALL my issues start with my connection to God, Spirit and the Universe and that once that is repaired the rest will follow suite.  The pain I feel in my physical is directly caused by my mental, emotional, spiritual and faith disconnect.  I have reconnected and all is well...or all will be well, this process isn't quite done.  I expect by next week I shall emerge from this Chrysalis an brand new Butterfly with glorious wings and a light withing that all will see.

In love and light always,
Tammy.